Monthly Archives: June 2012

#BusinessUnusual or Showing Properties in Mordor

Life in the west includes booms and busts, monsoons and dust, hailstorms, lightning and drought, and sometime all of the above in 30 days. We may bend conservative out here, but life sure isn’t static.

The Waldo Canyon Fire is a great example. We’re hosting evacuees and have a couple of “quick, get-out!” Rubbermaid tubs packed and at the ready. We live in Pinecliff, and according to Google Maps, we are about 4500 feet (can you tell I’ve been obsessing online) from the eastern boundary of the evacuation lines. At this writing, the Colorado Springs Wildland Fire Division is re-enforcing it’s firefighting rock stars reputation, successfully defending against property loss for two straight days. Their chances of batting 1.000 are going to be stretched today with more wind and the promised aerial support delayed. It is not uncommon to hear people say things like “I can’t ever remember it being this hot”, but guess what? It never has been this hot, and this dry, for this long, ever in Colorado Springs, and we have at least three more days of it. Saturday we tied the all-time record high (100) and it’s gonna be pushing that again today.

Collateral fall out from this is that my professional business is looking a bit different this week. We’re calling it #businessunusual. I’m not just utilizing my Epi Central membership, but this is now my office for an indefinite amount of time:

My shared desk space for the duration of the Waldo Canyon Evacuation, downtown at Epi Central.

It’s a little inconvenient, my commute time is a bit longer and that 10% of my business that requires a PC is kind of compromised, but other than that, things are going to plug on. Our broker, Cherise, had to evacuate, and will be periodically joining Hannah and I (and possibly Kim Schultz) down here this week.

The big “but” in all of this is showing properties. Like the veil of smoke hanging around the city, it feels like the city is in a collective fog. Traffic is notably lighter than usual. Ridgelines with views west are parking lots as folks gather during daylight and evening hours both to watch the advance. On top of that, a lot of the region’s most unique, sought-after, and unusual properties (Cedar Heights, Garden of the Gods, Pleasant Valley, Mountain Shadows, Peregrine, Pinon Valley, Oak Valley Ranch, Crystal Hills, Crystal Park, Woodmen Valley, Northern Rockrimmon, Chipita Park, Cascade, Green Mountain Falls) are in the crosshairs of this event. All of the above areas are mandatory evacuations or voluntary evacuations. This is the heart of my summer business most years.  Adding to the unusual nature of it all, a lot of the city’s prominent agents and real estate facilitators live on the westside. Their lives are displaced and up in the air. It’s taken on this effect: I apologized for sending across an inspection notice last night “in light of all the other stuff going on this weekend” because the agent lives in Woodland Park, where the fire seems to be advancing more aggressively. I meant it. I didn’t mean it “just to be nice”, it was genuine. I received an inspection notice this morning, and that agent did the same thing. “I’m sorry to ask to have the fireplace serviced, we just couldn’t get it on, and yeah, the buyer and I spoke this morning, there are much bigger things in life right now than this.” The third inspection notice I’m working on, that agent lives in Peregrine, which is in voluntary evacuation.

All of these are pretty lightweight inspection objections, nothing hard or unexpected for the sellers to remedy. But there is a sense of guilt asking for accommodation, when others are quite literally accommodating others for indefinite duration of time.

It also means that property showings in general are going to be harder, and frankly, if it isn’t urgent or bank-owned, it might just be better to let it wait. This is not a good time to be impatient, nor is it a good time to be a “shopper”. If you’re going to do something, be committed to it. A buyer loses negotiating power when they create inconvenience. Property transactions are hard enough to put together, and when you add the unprecedented elements of unknown/fear, likely insurance hang-ups (if you were an insurance company, would you insure something in the path of an advancing wildfire with a week of 90-100 degree temperatures on the horizon?) and possibly unexpected company camping out, a lot of sellers have a lot of inconvenience right now. It’s summer vacation, and with the temperatures blazing hot and air quality miserable, and parents constantly checking their smartphones and TV for the latest updates on the fire’s progress, showing a property with children is going to be pretty flippin’ difficult. Sure, properties east of I-25 don’t have to think about if they’ll evacuate, but it’s still 100 degrees out and an asthmatic’s nightmare for those “after work showings”. But the constant visual reminder on the horizon looks like it will be sticking around for a while.

It’s a good time to gather a perspective on things. We gave ourselves five tubs for important stuff, and that’s it. We marveled at our friends that have evacuated and their beautiful simplicity. I’m only concerned about a fire in my neighborhood if some fool lights Ute Valley Park on fire or dry lightning strikes, so the threat is real, but not nearly as tangible for us as it is for many others in our personal community. And this shall pass. In 95% of the world, something like this wouldn’t even get attention. I deliberately used hyperbole in my title, because our good friend Major Heather Yun visited us last week. She just completed a six month tour in Bagram, Afghanistan, and she used the analogy of Mordor to describe every day in the summer there, where the sun set like the evil, hostile eye of Sauron, and that’s when there were no fires, and the daily land was lifeless, producing nothing but exploding IED’s. Our local iconic backdrop, the image from so many wedding shoots and business cards, is battered and scarred, but lifeless it is not.

More HOA Fun!

Let’s face it, by professional designation and Code of Ethics, as a practicing REALTOR, my job is to help consumer’s and improve their private property values.

But there is something to be said for private property rights.

This might be the most Ron-Paul-ish sounding you’ll ever hear me, but HOA’s right now are the bane of real estate. Talk about the faceless corporation screwing with other people’s business.

Now so you, the humble reader, have a good idea why I am so biased, I live in a “covenant-controlled” community called Pinecliff, where the warden, ahem, HOA parking enforcement officer, noted that in April 2010, an unidentified flying object with 9 feathered denizens had landed in my backyard. That was the end of backyard chickens for the Day Boys. After making an appeal to the HOA that sounded quite a bit like a hyper-polarized gay marriage debate (HOA member: “if we allow you to raise chickens, what’s next, a python farm”; my fowl-loving cohort in crime “we just want our children to have childhoods. You’re denying that”. Yes… we live in the first world when these are our problems), the chickens were forcibly evicted to… Briargate. We found a neighborhood with a covenant loophole (where they didn’t contain the words “chickens”, “fowl” or my personal favorite “traditional neighborhood pets”) and no HOA and at church on Sunday mornings we have these strange contraband meetings between minivans where we bring an empty egg container and they quietly slip us one loaded with multi-colored eggs rich in Omega 3′s. Sometimes this happens across a pew.

This is my personal HOA experience. My professional? Even stranger.

Associa Colorado usually is taking three weeks to produce documentation for a real estate related transaction. They have this information already recorded, they could distribute it on a website, but then, that would be avoiding a state-allowed source of revenue. When you go to their website, it is nearly impossible to find what you need, financial information for the previous six months, meeting minutes and notes, and information on special assessments. Most everything indicates that it is not providing a statement of account, and so the obvious consumer instinct is “well, I don’t want that. I do want a statement of account.” Well you can’t get a statement of account, known as a status letter, until right before closing. More on that later. All of these things sound redundant, and similar, and have express fees, and many of them have fairly shocking details like this:

Well hot damn! For $80 they’ll watermark that it is out of compliance with full Resale Disclosure as required under Colorado Law. How helpful in court!

Attorney: “Did you see this watermark?”

REALTOR: “Yes. Bold, heavily typed face documents. We see those all the time. Those are important. Like notary stamps.”

Attorney: “Did you read what that watermark said?”

REALTOR: “Something about compliance with Colorado Law”

Attorney: “Or lack thereof.”

Defense Attorney: “Objection! My client can’t possibly understand Homeowner’s Associations inconsistent use of double negatives masquerading as currency-style watermarks.”

Attorney: “Why not? The state uses double negatives at closing on the Tax Assessment agreement, the verification of Colorado Residency, etc. Just because there is no closer there to hold your client’s hand…”

Can you see the beauty of the self-perpetuating idiocy in the system?

Here are two more fun ones. These involve the Statement of Account, also more commonly known as The Status Letter:

If you have an early to mid-month closing, you could get massively screwed right now if you live in an HOA and your title company is not on the ball with your local craziness. Woodmoor is a great example: the title company orders a status letter approximately two weeks before closing. In Woodmoor, they order that from the quite affordable WIA (Woodmoor Improvement Association). To comply with the Status Letter, Woodmoor sends out the forestry service. They walk the property and only now, document which trees are in need of disposal, which are dead, and make requirements for the dead stuff to be removed prior to closing. So here you are, packing everything up, some dude in a WIA truck pulls up, and announces, “you have two aspen, a big ponderosa limb, and some scrub oak you have to get out. I flagged them all. Have a nice day” and closing is something like five to seven days away. The last two Woodmoor closings I’ve had, had their status letter clear less than four hours prior to closing. Nice little nail biter, that.

In Golden Hills, they have a requirement that was founded on “Cleaning up the neighborhood.” When the title company orders the status letter from them, they reply “please provide a copy of the Improvement Location Certificate”. The title company, if they haven’t closed in Golden Hills in the last year usually says “what improvement location certificate?” because Golden Hills didn’t notify anyone of this odd new condition of sale, didn’t record it, didn’t alert any title companies, nobody. I had one of the first properties to close under this new rule, and the good folks at Empire Title made it a new condition of future closings in Golden Hills to require an ILC on all transactions. Because it’s what the HOA does with the ILC that is the real hoot: they examine the ILC for new permanent structures that they never approved, and then if they find any, they require them to be removed. Yup. Here you are, boxes packed, ready to leave, and that shed you had on the property WHEN YOU BOUGHT IT EIGHT YEARS AGO that somebody might have/ might not have approved but never recorded in HOA minutes…. all of a sudden, your HOA won’t give you a clean status letter until it’s gone.

This is obviously a rant on the silliness of HOA’s, and while I don’t particularly like them, they do their share of good. They can organize community. My anti-chicken brigade, is pro-defensible space, and in this super arid summer, I was thrilled to have my fuel bomb of cut timber shredded today for a mere $40 (the cost of my annual voluntary membership each year). The over-riding message is this: shop informed. Find out about HOA’s, as much as possible, in advance. Do your due diligence and ask around. After all, you can change your house, but you can’t change your neighbors.

Humblebrag, or what are you praying for?

I discovered this stupid term in a magazine I picked up. It accurately described my business in the midst of a significant market resurgence. A Humblebrag is basically “woe is me, I have all this going for me, and that which you undoubtedly covet, well, it’s driving me crazy.” It’s finding a way to try and sound humble while bitching and moaning about a “problem” that is usually a problem of abundance. Put it this way: outside of the first world, the Humblebrag doesn’t get much traction. Here… it’s a status symbol.  

Those who read my blogs know my mania for market data, and I have barely touched the numbers for May closings, but I know I had 8 closings out of the 923 last month, and that’s pretty decent. Especially since I had two linked deals blow up and fall apart. I am way up on last year, my most profitable year in the business, and I have still had six deals year to date cancel. Last year, I had only my second ever buyer default. This spring I have had three more, and spent a week in real estate purgatory with a seller on a buyer-side transaction trying to commit a massive amount of fraud. If we helped the guy out and did as he requested, we would have been party to it. Last I checked, they don’t book you for misdemeanors on fraud. What fun. But these are problems of abundance. These are not problems of people not buying homes. These are problems of people standing in the way of a successful closing (and in this case, it was successful. At the absolute 11th hour, the seller relented, and my buyers got an amazing home). 

I have three under contract this week already, $1.45 million booked, I’ve worked with four buyers this week already, done two listing appointments and put a listing on the market, and it looks like I will be working on 1-3 more new contracts by next Tuesday. I feel like the walking dead, and it’s only Wednesday night. 

The humblebrag: all this harvesting sucks. 

I mean, woe is me, right? For five years this market has been down, I experienced the loveliness of a crushing personal debt burden, the stress of being the sole income provider for our family and tireless, fruitless hours filled with non-committal prospects, and now I end up with buyers who have found my videoblog Stat Pack, and like that Hannah is the instigator at large in the downtown, and they called us to buy a big ol’ Old North End foreclosure. One showing. Boom. Done deal. And I end up grouching about the 55 pages of Bank of America addenda that can’t be e-signed and must be physically transported around the city for blue ink signatures. The walking contradiction of having so much business and simultaneously being so resentful of it… that’s both uncomfortable and weird. 

In my rare moments of quiet, I have found my spirit resurrecting Kierkegaard, and his famous quote that “life is lived forward, but understood backward.” We belong in the moment, and yet the moment is illusory. We worry, worry, worry about the future, and we do so because we are scarred from our past. I joked to Hannah in November that I was in “squirrel mode” and was gathering as many nuts as I could. My capacity for storing nuts is officially closed. My den has too many nuts and my storage tanks are overflowing so much there is no place to place my head. My goals for the next 12 hours include starting and completing the Stat Pack, getting in a work out, and somewhere in between, sleep, coffee and breakfast. It took writing this blog post to realize how overly ambitious I am with my calendar.

For those with a prayer life, what are you praying for? Last week, in the midst of a pretty awesome drought, the “prayer” was answered, and parts of the city got 4.2 inches of rain. Parts of Chelton were under 4 feet of hail. We got crazy cloud formations on the west side, also known as jack squat. In the midst of all this insane business volume, I’m asking myself, “if I’ve been praying for the levy to break, did I mean break, or just loosen up?” 

So I write this blog post as a placeholder: a placeholder for The Stat Pack. It won’t be done for a week. At least. I have another out of town buyer coming in this weekend, and every hour of the next two days scheduled wall-to-wall. The Stat Pack deserves excellence and insight, and correspondingly, right now, it can’t be done. In the midst of “woe is me, here’s my humblebrag” has to be the repentance of “can’t do it”. The biggest lie in real estate is that one person can be all things to all people, and that this is not only possible, but replicable again and again and again. Today is the 13th of the month, and that’s normally when we want the Stat Pack done. For the benefit of the Stat Pack, we’re gunning for the 21st. It’s busy out there.