“Lets plan to get together and do something fun. Tell me more about your family and then I can make some suggestions about what could be fun to do together.”
That’s an introduction.
My insipid, flaccid soul-man can suggest “lunch” as a possible place to get to know someone. Mmmm… Panera. Maybe P.F. Chang’s. Something probably… chainy. Let’s get to know each other for maybe $12 of expense and save the receipt.
Not this guy. I’m traveling a pretty good distance, he lives there, and being polite, I suggest a couple different things trying to make it as convenient as possible.
Vulnerability isn’t convenient.
Here’s the challenge to me: actually asking to do something fun. I can think of lots of things… to do. But what if I ask my heart… hey… what would be fun? What do I love?
Just as much… what’s in the hearts of my family? My wife… what woos her? My wife loves many things, is incredibly gracious at going along with what others want to do, but when she is most herself, when she is most the rapturous woman of my dreams, her spirit is wooed. My boys are 7 and 10 year old without much spatial awareness or volume control. They like to do about anything that is messy, wet… but what do they love? How do my children come alive? I asked my oldest tonight that question. I asked him to think about his heart. His answer was “family”. “I don’t like change very much Dad.” That which anchors him and settles him and takes him to a place of consistency… that’s what he loves.
The person who wrote this to me is a person who just does God’s business. He just does it, pretty much without thinking. Two sentences of God’s clear truth to me:
1.) God doesn’t put up random walls of posture and societal genuflecting. He doesn’t have time for that, and all that groveling and talk of “I’m just a man” kinda pisses him off. So God doesn’t mess with it. Bob Goff says “Love Does.” The verb, “to do” and the anti-verb, “people-pleasing” are not at all related. The first is an action guided by spirit. The second is a construction guided by soul. I’m a master of posture and societal genuflecting. “What could be fun to do together” has no room for posturing and other positional nonsense.
2.) The only knowledge really worth knowing isn’t empirical sets of data… it’s finding the present in our heart.